Tears
by CrazyNinjaChicks
Summary: My version of Ziva's childhood. part 1 of 3. Some how I am managing to turn it into a Tiva fic.
1. Chapter 1

Tears

Everyone sees Ziva David as a strong, invincible, ninja superwoman. Blessed with speed, beauty and quick wit to say the least, but only Ziva sees herself as the complete opposite; weak, vulnerable, slow and undesirable.

She told this to Tony once, and know he knows why…

_Ziva David sat by herself under a small tree, as far away from the other children as possible. She shielded her face from view with her long brown hair to try and escape notice from the cruel, prying eyes of her fellow students. Her eyes darted from side to side, back to front all the while trying to read 'Moby Dick'. Sometimes it really sucked to be the daughter of the Mossad deputy Director._

_She heard footsteps behind her and before she could react she was sprawled to the ground and her book snatched from her hands. She began to pull herself up to see who had pushed her. Nimrod; a big, muscled boy drop-kicked her book at her then grabbed a handful of her hair and hauled her to her feet._

_"I bet you think your so tough, Daddy being Director of Mossad." He snarled at her._

_"Lo." She whimpered, tears leaking from her eyes as Nimrod yanked her hair._

_"Lo?" Nimrod gave her hair on last hard pull before he let her crumple to the ground. He ripped her book in half, threw it at her, then kicked her for good measure before stalking off with her bag. __**No! **__she thought,__** not my bag.**__ Her mother had died earlier that week, on a secret Mossad operation so she didn't know the details of her death. Her father had given her the effects that her mother had left for her in her will that morning on the way to school that morning and she had put them in her school bag. The bag Nimrod was walking away with._

_Ziva left her torn book and ran after Nimrod, he heard her coming and started running too. Everyone had stopped what they were doing to watch the confrontation between Nimrod Shelby and Ziva David._

_Nimrod tossed Ziva's bag on top of an old school building; no one even dared go up there, the roof was rusty and about to collapse in on itself, whatever got stuck up there, stayed up there._

_Ziva punched Nimrod with her small fist, it did little against his massive back but earned her a return blow to the stomach. Ziva doubled over, coughing._

_A few items fell from her bag; it hung slightly over the eaves of the double storey building, books and a few pens and pencils. She didn't care all of her mother's things were in that bag. Her star of David, her menorah, countless priceless objects and an unopened envelope._

_When she regained her breath the crowd was gone, already inside at their next lesson, she looked up at the rooftop; her bag impossibly far away. Her father would have told her not to cry but she didn't care. It was his fault her things were on top of that crumbling building and it was his fault she would never read what her mother had written and it was his fault her mother was dead. It was his fault and she hated him._

_A glimmer of gold caught her eye… the necklace. Hanging from a rusted piece of corrugated iron eight metres off the ground._

_Everyone had gone home, she should have been to but her father had forgotten to pick her up again. Now Ziva David climbed the crumbling wall to retrieve the necklace from the rooftop._

_"ZIVA!" a voice yelled in fear, "Get down! You can fall!" the loud voice startled her and she slipped. Falling…falling…falling… strong arms caught her before she hit the ground. She whimpered into her savior's shoulder._

_"Ziva don't scare me like that."_

_"Ari." She wept._

_"It's okay, you're safe."_

_"Where is Aba?" _

_"Working." He said coldly._

_"Ari… I miss Ima." Ari put his sister down_

_"Don't cry Ziva, it does no good." He murmured darkly. Ziva ran away from her brother._

_"Don't turn into Aba, Ari." She walked home by herself. Only to be met halfway by Nimrod and his friends. When she finally arrived home her face was bruised, her clothes were torn and dirty, her hair was a tangled mess and blood oozed from her split lip and torn eye brow._

_Eli David didn't even notice. _


	2. Chapter 2

_"Aba?" Ziva asked from the door of her father's study._

_"Ken Ziva?" She stayed at the door, her father did not let her in the study._

_"What happened to the Shelby family?" she asked softly, looking at her shoes._

_"Miguel Shelby was... stopped... from selling illegal arms to the Iranians. Why?"_

_"Just something Nimrod said." Her father laughed cruelly to himself._

_"You may leave." He prompted, eager to have his daughter disappear. Ziva turned and was about to walk away when..._

_"I have a dance recital tomorrow night, will you watch me?" she asked earnestly, but knowing she would be disappointed._

_"Ken Ziva... I promise." She suddenly didn't care that she had been beaten up because of her father, he had promised he would watch her dance, and Eli David didn't break promises._

_"Laila Tov, Aba."_

_"Laila Tov Ziva."_

_She was standing in the wings, her wavy hair slicked back into a tight bun, dressed in her light green leotard and wrap-around skirt. Ari had driven her to the centre, even though he wasn't supposed to drive without adult supervision, and she could see him sitting in the audience... but she couldn't see her father yet. _

He is coming._ She assured herself,_ he promised.

_The curtain closed on the dancer and she nearly ran off stage. It was her turn now; she walked confidently to her place on stage and took her position. The stage was the one place where the people didn't know her name, the one place where people couldn't point and say 'that's the daughter of the deputy director'. Instead they could point and say 'look at that child dance, isn't she good?'_

_The music started, the curtain was raised and Ziva David started to dance like she had never danced before because this time her father was here to watch._

_She danced move after move, position after position, she dominated the stage with grace and elegance that seemed too great to belong to a twelve year old girl. While she danced her eyes never left the audience, scanning the crowd, in search of her father's face. She finished her dance with en point at the exact time that the music stopped. The audience cheered and clapped and Ziva took the last few moments before the curtain closed to scan the crowd again, she couldn't see her father but she could see Ari; he was looking around for Eli David too._

_Ziva did run off the stage and she did cry. She had never run off stage before, not because she was scared, but she ran off the stage like the scared little girl before her._

_Ari caught her before she could flee to the dressing room._

_"Ziva! Ziva listen to me. You go back to that stage, and you stand back up with the other dancers and you get first place do you hear me?"_

_"Ari... he didn't come. He promised he would and he didn't."_

_"Ziva don't cry you will ruin your make up. Tali is still out there, Ziva. She is waiting for her big sister to get back on stage and get an award for dancing. Aba may have let you down Ziva, but don't do the same to Tali."_

_"Alright ... thank you for bringing me Ari. I know you will get in trouble for driving with Aba."_

_"Anything for my little sister." Those were the days when it didn't matter if they didn't have the same mother, they had the same father and that was all that mattered; even if he wasn't much of a father. " Now get back on that stage."_

_"First prize is awarded to... contestant... 7." The crowd cheered but no one cheered louder than Ari Haswari and Tali David. Right now, in her moment of fame , they were family enough. _


	3. Chapter 3

Ziva walked to school, leaving the house before anyone had even woken up; hoping to avoid Nimrod and his friends in the early hours of the morning. She hadn't confronted her father about the night of the recital, Eli hadn't brought it up either and it was weeks ago, he had forgotten. She arrived at school unscathed but didn't leave that way.

She barely made it home that night, battered, bleeding, and bruised.

Ari was in the study with his father so she tried to sneak through the house to the bathroom but Tali saw her before she collapsed in the hallway. Tali may have been two years younger than Ziva but she was not stupid, she helped her limp to the bedroom and closed the door behind them.

"Ziva, what happened to you?" she whispered.

"Creative differences with my class mates." She mumbled, wincing as she tried to sit up. Tali pushed her down again.

"Stay here, I'll be back soon."

"Can't go anywhere else." Ziva groaned. She couldn't take much more of this, if she didn't do anything soon this would kill her.

Tali came back with a basin full of warm water, a face washer and a bottle of stinging antiseptic. She gently wiped at the dried blood and dirt on her sisters face and dabbed at the nasty looking grazes and cuts. She handed the washer to Ziva and she started to clean up her arms and legs while Tali spread the nasty smelling antiseptic to her injuries. The sting brought her out of her animate state but it didn't hurt more than the throbbing that was flooding through her body.

"Aba didn't say anything about not going to your recital did he?" asked Tali.

"No... I think he forgot, just like every other time. All those other times he didn't promise though, he is a liar, one day I'll be able to tell when someone is lying to me and if they do I'll lie back at them and see how they feel."

Tali shook her head sadly. Ziva was the middle child, she was the one who got hurt on both sides. Hannah David had doted on Tali, the youngest, Eli David spent time with his oldest, only son. There was never room for Ziva. Now, even when Hannah was dead, there was room in Eli's heart for Tali but still none for Ziva.

Later that night, Ziva crept into Ari's room.

"Ari?" she whispered from the door.

"What Ziva?"

"Will you teach me how to fight?"


	4. Chapter 4

"One more Ziva!" Ari shouted at his younger sister, they were in the back yard, it had rained, it was muddy, and Ziva was struggling in it.

She dropped to her belly.

"I can't do anymore!" she yelled at him.

"I don't want to hear 'can't' Ziva. If you can yell at me you can do one more push up. Before you can learn to fight you have to be strong enough to fight."

Her arms were throbbing, the mud and rain was cold, but she wanted to show everyone that that they could not push her around without her fighting back; Nimrod, his gang, Ari even, but most of all her father.

She hauled her self back up on shaking arms and pumped her little body above the ground not once… but twenty more times.

Ari was blown away, something was spurring her on, and he couldn't place it. Maybe he didn't want to. He knelt down beside her, shouting at her. Ziva's eyes were straight ahead, they weren't looking at anything, just reliving the moments that people had hurt her and channeling all that fury into this one moment. Not thinking ahead, just living for that very moment.

A grim smile broke out across her face and another broke out across Ari's.

_I will hurt them… I will make them pay._

_She has her head in it now… nothing will stop her._

oOo

She was on the ground again, Ari pinning her to the floor with his body.

"Give me a break." She gasped.

"**They** won't give you a break, they won't go easy. Neither will I."

Ziva executed a manuvore and Ari was off her. They didn't exchange soft blows and more than once Ziva had left their training sessions having no feeling in some of her limbs. But the more they trained the less Ziva got hit and left with less bruises, and Ari's grew.

Ziva watched Ari carefully as he came to his feet. He struck out at her and she ducked, rolling under his arm and to her feet behind him. She kicked behind his knees and elbowed him between the shoulder blades. He recovered quickly and they circled each other.

"Good Ziva. The harder this starts the easier it gets… ten more minutes then we're done."

Ziva tried to leg sweep his feet from underneath him but Ari jumped over her and kicked at her ankle. Ziva didn't even cry out any more. Any pain that she felt she stored away for next time. Ari knew this, and it could make her very dangerous, but if she had too much hurt she could cause damage were it was not meant. Ziva was on the edge of a knife, either way she could fall. She needed a healthy balance.

Ziva locked both legs together and drove them towards his stomach, he deflected them but not until after she winded him.

"Okay…" he coughed, "We break early."

Ziva kneed him again for good measure.

"They won't stop, neither will I." she echoed his words. Ari smiled.

"Good." And he grabbed her knees in a bear hug. She toppled backwards.

"Never stop because an opponent tells you they are done. If you shoot, you shoot until they can't shoot back." They both lay poised on the floor for a moment, then Ari clapped his hand on her leg. "But really… we're done for today." Ziva waited for him to leave first, before she left for the bathroom. She knew why Ari had broken early.

Their father was home…


	5. Chapter 5

_Left, right, left ,left, right, left, right, right, left…_ She changed her rhythm with every set of punches that she struck at the bag. It made her hard to predict.

She didn't train with Ari as much as she used to. Hardly ever anymore. His training sessions becoming less frequent over the years until they just… stopped. He was always with her father, always with him, another person who didn't care about her any more…

She hit the bag with more force than she meant to, smashing it against the wall and surely waking the sleeping people above her.

Ari was the first down the basement stairs.

"Ziva what are you doing? It is 0430."

She didn't answer.

"Ziva!"

She grabbed the swinging bag and glared at him with venomous eyes.

"What?!"

"What are you doing down here this early."

She resumed punching, but answered his question all the same.

"Since you can not find time for me, I found time for my self. Now can you leave me alone so I can finish before I have to get ready for school?"

Eli had joined Ari on the stairs and heard what she had said. He felt Ari push past him as he angrily made his way back upstairs. Ziva didn't notice, she had zoned out again. Eli sat down on the stairs and watched his eldest daughter attack the punching bag hanging from the support beam. She struck, spun and kicked from behind, then struck again. Her brown hair whipping around her face.

She was quick, she was hard, she was completely furious, she was a weapon, she was his new project.

oOo

Ziva made her way to school: middle school wasn't nearly as painful as primary. Nimrod wasn't in her year or even at her school anymore. She didn't have to hide and sneak or wait for hours before she could leave for home. But the problem was Nimrod's younger brother Amir. He was 15, her age, in her year, in her school, in all of her classes. He would make it is personal goal to embarrass her every day, to make her teachers throw her out of classes for things she hadn't even done.

Today she was angry, her brother had ignored her, her father hadn't acknowledged her existence for 3 years and Tali hadn't even been brave enough to hold her stare for more than a few moments. If someone pushed the wrong buttons, this bomb would explode.

oOo

"Hey Ziva! What happened to your face? Oh no wait it is always like that!" Amir jibed. It was a lame joke, it shouldn't bother her. But Amir was just like his brother, and was feared by nearly every one. They all laughed at her, not because it was funny but because they were afraid they would get hurt if they didn't. It shouldn't hurt, not after 7 years of poor jokes at her expense, but it still did. She ignored it and continued writing notes from the board and completing her questions.

She could hear them, they were in a group up the back of the classroom , trying to come up with a joke possibly less witty than the first.

"Hey David!" he whispered from behind.

"What?" she hissed.

"Your Ima is so stupid, she married your Aba." Without fail, his 'gang' laughed too.

Ziva's jaw locked, she didn't like her father, her mother didn't care much for her but she paid attention, showed up to watch her dance, and Ziva respected her. They weren't much of a family, but they were all she had. And sometimes she wished they would all die… but no one insulted her family.

She pushed away from her desk, it crashed to the floor. She grabbed Amir by the nape of his neck and smashed his face into the brick wall, then pushed Chazel's desks into his stomach before punching Elijah in the face. Chazel was on the floor, Amir was semi-concious with blood streaming from various parts of his face and Elijah was coughing, trying to catch his breath. It was over before it started and she wasn't hurt in anyway.

"Miss David!" The teacher screeched, "Outside now!"

"At least I actually did something to get out there this time." She shot back under her breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing miss." She said in an overly loud voice, she was still fuming and she wanted to hit something else.

"Just because your father is an important figure in authority, does not mean you can abuse your class mates and your teachers."

"And I really don't give and rat's ass what you think about me." She yelled, before storming out and slamming the door behind her.

oOo

The fight was weeks ago and everything was normal again, well… like it used to be. Apart from the fact that the Shelby family had a Vendetta against her and Amir had a broken nose. She couldn't help but smirk every time she saw him.

And now… it was all coming back to bite her.

Just like before they were waiting for her, just like before they were her to beat her, but this time she would fight back.

"Well Nimrod. I haven't seen you in a while. How have you been?" She asked with a fake smile on her face.

"I was a lot better until I heard about what my favourite punching bag did to my little brother."

"Well next time he should remember who he is insulting."

"You certainly have changed, Ziva David," he said walking forward, Ziva's guard, as if not up high enough already, shot sky high, "You certainly have become very beautiful."

"And you have remained as sniveling as before."

"Why should you talk like that," he was coming closer, "Look at you." He reached out to touch her hair. She flinched back and hit his hand away.

"You don't need to do that." He assured, grabbing her head and pulling her lips to his.

Only her head was trapped, she could get out, but his hands started to travel down her body, trapping her arms.

Nimrod tried to prise open her mouth with his tongue, but she kneed him right where he really didn't want to. He let go of her and dropped to the ground. She punched and kicked and broke bones, five years of abuse and now she could let it all out. Half an hour later Nimrod was no more than a crying, bleeding heap and Ziva felt more satisfied than she had her whole life.

**There you go, Ziva got her revenge. I'll try and update soon, I'm on a role now. CNC.**


	6. Chapter 6

Ziva pushed open the front door, dropped her school bag in the door way and headed upstairs to her bedroom. The house was empty. Ari was with Aba, Aba was away, and Tali must have gone to a friend's house after school.

As a force of habit, Ziva shut her door behind her. She sat down at her desk in the corner and opened the locked drawer with the key she kept under her mattress. This drawer contained all the things her father disapproved of. Her drawer of Secrets. She pulled out stacks of paper, various drawings, and leafs of sheet music she had written at her piano until she found the blue folder that was her way out. She pulled the folder out and piled all the loose paper back into the drawer before locking it securely again.

She looked cautiously behind her shoulder before she opened it. Months ago, when everyone ignored her, hated her, when she hated everyone and just wanted to get away, she had crept into her father's study in the middle of the night and quickly and efficiently searched schools for Art, Music, and Drama. She found three schools. She printed everything she could find, filled the printer back the way it was and deleted her search history.

Everything was in the folder before her. She had narrowed her choice down to 2 and now she made her final decision. Long Island School of Dance, Music and Creative Arts. In America.

It sounded nice. There were 6 blocks. A block, B block, C block, D block, E block and F block.

A block was the block that held the dorms for Music. Each room was a singular, equipped with 1 bed an ensuite, and desk, internet connection and enough space for a large musical instrument, like piano or drums.

B block was for Dance and Creative Arts. Essentially it was the same as A block and had a large hall for the dancers.

C block was The Stage. A huge stage for any type of production, massive red velvet curtains and a PA system to die for.

D block was mandatory studies; English, Maths, Science.

E block the Cafeteria

F block the Teachers block, off limits to students.

And 6 acres of grass and trees. For exuberant boys to play football, gossip girls to swap rumors and loners and lovers to hide away.

It sounded perfect. Now all she had to do was convince her father to let her go.

**I'm sorry I know I said I would update sooner but I was snowed under with homework. 7 assignments to do in 2 weeks is not fun I assure you. Sorry if this chapter is a bit... crap really** . **But things are starting to heat up. If I made any mistakes with geography I don't really care. I don't live in America or Israel so bear with review, I desperately need ideas.**


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